tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-130275792011-04-21T11:37:37.180-07:00A critique of Portland, Oregon's channel 12 10 o'clock "news" program. To maintain a democracy, news programming needs to inform, not just entertain. Does KPTV practice journalism or "scarenalism"? This blog intends to hold KPTV's feet to the fire in the name of democracy.KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.comBlogger1201100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1140663771840024242006-02-22T19:00:00.000-08:002006-07-15T22:40:11.586-07:00

For loyal KPTV viewers: Yes, that was me being interviewed by Wayne Garcia for Tuesday's show. I would have given a face-to-face but I was still on my way back from Nebraska. I guess meeting me at the airport was just too much to ask.Hey, for all the crap Wayne has had to take from me I figure an exclusive interview is the least I can do for him. I know it is shocking, and all I can say is that

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1128932121204962052005-10-10T00:57:00.000-07:002005-10-10T02:18:00.970-07:00

Just stopping in for a quick moment.Ah, I love to have a good laugh at KPTV's expense! It just makes my night. Tonight's mirth-maker was the story about the subway "terror plot." Kevin Coari intro'd the story, saying it was by "KPTV's Julie Banderas." The tape started. Julie Banderas was nowhere in sight. Another female reporter named Gomez was the talking head for this one. Even though she said

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1128756584322174782005-10-08T00:29:00.000-07:002005-10-08T00:44:01.806-07:00

Oh, it’s SO amusing when the weekend tech crew is on at KPTV!  You might think that a major market TV station would take enough pride in its product to make sure that the people running their “news” show were competent.  Yeah, you’d think that, but that doesn’t seem to be the case.  If you like technical flubs, make sure to set the TiVO for Channel 12 from Friday to Sunday nights.  More below.Top

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1128673338153941182005-10-07T01:22:00.000-07:002005-10-07T01:36:11.596-07:00

Yippie-ya-A!Top Story.  Attacked with a sledgehammer!  Yow.  David Wilson went to Aloha for this one.  A 15-year-old girl went into a Subway sandwich shop back on September 9 to ask the workers there to call 911 for her.  She said her Dad had beaten and abandoned her.  The girl, her parents and 2 siblings apparently lived in a small travel trailer.  When the girl was “bad,” the parents would lock

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1128586906264252082005-10-06T01:21:00.000-07:002005-10-06T01:33:40.440-07:00

Let’s roll!Top Story.  Debra Gil was really, really, really On The Scene in Tigard where a 16-year-old girl was grabbed by a Hispanic guy who had approached her, asking for directions.  He tried to push her into a minivan, which sounds a whole lot like the M.O. in 2 other attempted kidnappings in the area lately.  The girl ran to the nearby Transit Center for help.  The cops caught Hugo Alvarado;

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1128499758220342932005-10-05T01:09:00.000-07:002005-10-05T01:24:56.296-07:00

Oh, it was a big ol’ Crimefest tonight.  So much so that I could barely keep up, meaning that if you’re interested in the details of some of these stories, you’re going to have to do some looking around.  Hey, I’m just here to make fun of KPTV…I mean, encourage them to do better journalism.  Yeah, that’s what I meant.  Really.Top Story.  The cops in Troutdale say that 3 teens were responsible for

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1128327854086056152005-10-03T01:24:00.000-07:002005-10-03T01:37:01.243-07:00

I’m having my annual mid-life crisis right now but I’ll do my civic duty and make fun of Hilary Hutcheson’s hair.  If I don’t, the terrorists might win, after all.Top Story.  According to the cops, 2 men tied up the Salem 911 Call Center for about 40 minutes so that they could try to rob some stores.  This semi-clever stunt happened about 7:07 PM on Saturday.  The caller claimed that his Dad was

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1128246336184870782005-10-02T02:45:00.000-07:002005-10-02T03:24:47.980-07:00

On a different note, Saturday Night Live had its season premiere tonight.  I smiled three times, making it the funniest SNL in 15 years.Top Story.  Car into bar.  Some doofus drove into a bar in Southeast Portland.  David Frietas/Freitas was On The Scene.  This was funny: Davey was telling us about the dangerous intersection the bar is at.  The camera panned away from his mug to show us...no cars

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1128154719314140682005-10-01T01:12:00.000-07:002006-10-31T18:41:50.923-08:00

Man, you know it's a slow news day when your lead story is the weather. Oooh, it rained. In Oregon. Stop the presses. Top Story. Rain! OK, to be fair (and I’m nothing if not fair), it was the first significant rainfall in some time in the Portland area. The Mt. Hood Highway got washed out; 20 miles of it were closed. It'll be closed for several days, according to ODOT. David Frietas/

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1128071146559278272005-09-30T02:05:00.000-07:002005-09-30T02:17:38.580-07:00

Some nights, what KPTV doesn’t do a story about is more interesting than what they do.Top Story.  Oooh, KPTV done found themselves a crime wave.  6 cars have been stolen in the last 48 hours in the Wood Village-Fairview area.  Lock your Subarus in the closet, suburbanites!  Is meth to blame?  Who knows, but KPTV would like you to suspect as much.  David Frietas/Freitas was outside a Wal-Mart

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1127989828195609142005-09-29T03:30:00.000-07:002005-09-29T03:39:49.233-07:00

Settle back, buckle your seat belt and let’s begin.Top Story.  A 16-year-old Hispanic boy was stabbed to death last Friday afternoon in Salem.  Kevin Coari, Embedded Reporter, was “embedded” in Salem for this story.  The boy’s family holds nightly vigils and prays for his soul.  Although some are saying that the victim was slain in a gang dispute, his family says he was not a gang banger and was

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1127902353782620002005-09-28T03:12:00.000-07:002005-09-28T03:26:16.176-07:00

I was out of town.  Did you miss me?  By the way, I did see the Debra Gil fiasco on Sunday night where Toto pulled the curtain away just a bit and let us see that behind it Professor Marvel was pulling levers to fake being the Wizard of Oz.  Or something like that.  Actually, we found out that at least some of the “live” stand-ups of KPTV’s reporters are pre-recorded.  So much for that “First.  

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1127635902669951162005-09-25T01:07:00.000-07:002005-09-25T08:57:22.250-07:00

I had to do some "real world" work tonight, so even though I watched the show, there'll be no big honkin' Report today. For information on the antiwar protests, Click here

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1127554417763502332005-09-24T01:01:00.000-07:002005-09-24T02:47:20.686-07:00

Rita-rama!Top Story. Rita, what else? As the show started, Rita was 55 miles south of the Texas-Louisiana border and heading north. Wind speed was 120 MPH. Fires in Galveston were hard to extinguish because of the high winds. "KPTV's Caroline Shivley" was in Beaumont, Texas standing in the wind like a regular Kevin Coari-type embedded reporter or something. Rita is expected to make landfall

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1127469331725578952005-09-23T01:37:00.000-07:002005-09-23T03:04:30.173-07:00

Rita is the new Katrina.Top Story "KPTV's Chris Wolfe" was in Houston where the poop is hitting the air circulator. There's gridlock on the highways leading out of town; the airport is no bargain either as millions try to get the hell out of Dodge A/K/A Houston. Drew Jackson wandered into the studio to tell us that Rita's track has moved to the East over the last 24 hours. It's at Category 4

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1127377986982684272005-09-22T00:16:00.000-07:002005-09-22T01:47:58.633-07:00

Oh, KPTV, you fickle bitch! No sooner do you break up with Katrina then you're making time with Rita. You're all, like, "Rita this" and "Rita that."Top Story. What else but Rita? "KPTV's Chris Huntington" was in New Orleans, telling us about Rita and her 175+ MPH sustained winds. People are either heading out of southern Texas or hunkering down. Is there a third option? The Feds have declared a

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1127294443749573012005-09-21T00:55:00.000-07:002005-09-21T07:35:55.863-07:00

Once again, a fat guy, armed only with his computer, sitting before it in his underwear, takes on the primetime "news" show of a major market network TV affiliate.Top Story. A 14-year-old girl, on her way to her school in Milwaukie, was attacked by a man who jumped out of the hedges. The girl's leg was injured in the attack. David Frietas/Freitas was On The Scene.2 men carried off a carjacking at

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1127119989921698352005-09-19T01:53:00.001-07:002005-09-19T01:59:38.976-07:00

It's been a while since KPTV pulled the old "Breaking News" gag so I guess we were due for it.Top Story. Crossfire. No, wait! Breaking News? Yow! 2 people are dead in a Beaverton car port area. Kevin Coari, Embedded Reporter, is On The Scene. The deaths occurred around 7:45 PM, close enough to 10 PM for KPTV's definition of "breaking news." A weapon has been found and the cops don't know how old

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1127037071464763432005-09-18T02:51:00.002-07:002005-09-18T05:32:31.056-07:00

Oh, this is going to be an interesting one. It seems there might be a little more to tonight's "Top Story" than KPTV reported. In fact, the version they reported might not be exactly accurate.Top StoryThere was a fire in a house behind a school in Salem. Upon investigation, it turned out that a meth lab inside had blown up, causing the fire at about 11:30 AM Saturday. According to KPTV, a

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1126944874970196342005-09-17T01:14:00.000-07:002005-09-17T01:31:14.676-07:00

OK, so far the new software that allows me to type this report into Microsoft Word, then export it to Blogger is working. With any luck, we won’t have a repeat of the horror from the other night. Cross whatever appendages you want.Top Story. Thursday night, Jose Martinez was walking around the Beaverton Fred Myer with Mr. Happy out of his pants, allegedly. This is considered uncouth in polite

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1126865579819849062005-09-16T03:12:00.000-07:002005-09-16T03:35:49.076-07:00

Grrr. I’m still mad after last night’s debacle. I’m trying out a new piece of magical software which should insure that I never have a situation like that again. We’ll see. I’ll believe that when monkeys fly out of my butt or KPTV acts like a real news show, whichever comes first. My money’s on the monkeys.Top Story. Man, this was weak. It was about people stealing stuff from local construction

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1126782334208883382005-09-15T03:27:00.000-07:002005-09-15T04:11:27.480-07:00

I am SO pissed-off right now! I was writing my nightly report on the KPTV "news" show. I was an hour and a half into it, in fact (yeah, I write slow). I was listening to a CD as I worked and I made the fatal error of thinking I could actually change the disc without causing a problem. Wrong. The computer crashed, trashing everything I had written up to that point. No, I hadn't saved my work as a

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1126695097070014312005-09-14T02:04:00.000-07:002005-09-14T07:35:44.566-07:00

Oh man, I'm kinda groggy tonight. I didn't get my usual nap on Tuesday. You only think I'm kidding. I'm like Mister Nap. Anyway, I'll soldier on lest my army of anonymous readers bitches me out for not being diligent.Top Story. Prostitutes in a major American City!? Say it isn't so. And not just prostitutes in any old neighborhood, either. No sir, these prostitutes have the temerity to ply their

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1126517314683694782005-09-12T00:50:00.000-07:002006-05-21T18:55:52.813-07:00

What the hell! Did KPTV give the people who come up with the "top stories" the day off or something? The main "Top Story" was new, but most of the rest of the first 11 minutes of the show tonight was composed of retreads from last night. Yup, they sure deserve that award the AP gave them. Uh huh.Top Story. An old lady in the Cascade Inn, a local nursing home, was shot by her daughter who then

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1126430701649066812005-09-11T01:24:00.000-07:002005-09-11T02:36:48.076-07:00

Well, the inevitable reduction in the Katrinafication of the KPTV "news" show has begun. Hey, it's been nearly two weeks since the onset of arguably the worst natural disaster in America history; you didn't think the saturation coverage of it would last forever, did you?Top Story. Katina's Devastation. "KPTV's Caroline Shivley" appeared on camera but apparently no one told her she was on so we

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1126344313222252882005-09-10T01:13:00.000-07:002005-09-10T02:38:53.066-07:00

The KPTV 10 o'clock "news" show was wall-to-wall disaster tonight. Hurricane? Katrina? Huh? No, silly, I mean Hilary Hutcheson's new "sophisticated" hairdo. Parted on the right, with a sort of Bunker Hill dealie at the rear right corner.Top Story. Well, do the math, Sparky. Katrina all the way. Take notes, Rush Limbaugh fans, here's the sound bite you'll be hearing all next week: The Death Toll

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1126174155574162032005-09-08T01:50:00.000-07:002005-09-08T07:25:17.873-07:00

The KPTV "news" show tonight was Katrinalicious. Grab a spoon and dig in.Top Story. Katrina's Devastation.The mayor of New Orleans has ordered a mandatory evacuation of the city. Some people are reluctant to leave their homes, even though the water all around them is really, really filthy and unhealthful. Oh, this is gonna be UGLY. And as if to prove that, we got some video of the cops forcibly

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1126084089036318902005-09-07T00:55:00.000-07:002005-09-07T03:38:59.543-07:00

The KPTV "news" team put on their serious faces--you know, the ones they usually reserve for stories about missing upscale blonde white women--for tonight's Katrina-thon.Top Story: Katrina's Devastation. Get used to that phrase 'cause you're gonna be hearing a lot of it. There's lots of stuff to cover, so let's blow right through it. The mayor of New Orleans (you know, the guy all those Bush

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1125912941639451072005-09-05T01:14:00.000-07:002005-09-05T02:50:24.373-07:00

It's a Katrina-thon again tonight, as is only right. What other story could compare with this? Oh, speaking of "Top Story" stuff, I forgot to talk about this last night. As you know, some nights KPTV kicks off its "news" show with "Breaking News." The Mrs. and I have come to the conclusion that, basically, the KPTV "news" show is put together by the day crew, which goes home at about 5:30 or 6:00

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1125829142465209742005-09-04T01:57:00.000-07:002005-09-04T07:55:06.136-07:00

Hardly a surprise that the show was Katrina-centric again tonight. Not even KPTV could feel OK about doing smoking monkey stories while thousands are lying dead in New Orleans.Top Story. Well, I've already let the cat out of the bag.Oops, wait, Breaking News! Chief Justice of the Supreme Court William Rehnquist is dead. Great, this will give the clearly extremely competant George W. Bush the

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1125741060110321822005-09-03T01:18:00.000-07:002005-09-03T13:00:27.553-07:00

Do I even need to tell you what the Top Story tonight was? What else could it be than Katrina and the aftermath. KPTV even broke out the Brooke Wilberger "dramatic" music for this story, so you know it's an OFFICIAL disaster!Top Story. Katrina, Katrina, Katrina. It's a bit tricky to summarize all the stories tonight as they tended to be about the hurricane disaster relief and they kind of ran

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1125645092776627762005-09-01T23:51:00.000-07:002005-09-02T00:43:10.936-07:00

I didn't actually watch the whole show tonight, I confess. After a day of watching coverage about New Orleans and seeing horrifying pictures of what's going on down there, I was actually somewhat relieved when I heard that KPTV's sister station was carrying a football game which was going long. That meant that wrestling was starting at 9 PM, giving me a semi-legitimate excuse to not watch the "

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1125569549070597942005-09-01T01:51:00.000-07:002005-09-01T07:28:56.990-07:00

As you would expect, Katrina dominated the KPTV "news" show for a second night. I have to confess that I'm a bit surprised, pleasantly so, by that. I was half-afraid that Short Attention Span Theater would lead with some stupid ID theft thing or something.Top Story. Katrina. Things are going from bad to worse in the area affected by the hurricane. KPTV lined up a bunch of "their" correspondents

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1125482614310973442005-08-31T01:40:00.000-07:002005-08-31T03:30:00.650-07:00

Let me clear something up before we dive in here. As you may be aware, I take Mondays off from this little hobby I've made for myself to watch wrestling. Go ahead, laugh, you know you want to. Anyway, as a result, I don't get to see the KPTV "news" show on Monday nights. If I mention that they ignored something tonight, it isn't necessary to tell me that they talked about it LAST night. I give, I

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1125302197910742712005-08-28T23:16:00.000-07:002005-08-29T01:13:21.790-07:00

I can't wait for my vacation to New Orleans to start this week! Whoo, the Big Easy! Huh, wha..? Hurricane? What hurricane? Katrina? Category 5? Is that bad? Um, anyone want to buy some plane tickets?Top Story: Must have been a slow news day 'cause the "Top Story" tonight was about the road rage incident from yesterday. I think someone forgot the "new" in "news." The BMW-driving woman who swerved

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1125225916585506282005-08-28T01:52:00.000-07:002006-06-02T08:57:25.133-07:00

Oh man, my ego's hurt. My wife told me tonight she thinks I haven't been putting enough jokes into these reports lately. I dunno, maybe I've just gotten into a bad groove or something. I shall endeavor to do better in the future. I have to go sulk now.Top Story. Jeff Smith got himself all beat up at Park and Stark in Portland back on the 21st at about 4 AM. He went to OHSU where he died over the

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1125138028994485712005-08-27T01:46:00.000-07:002005-08-27T03:31:43.170-07:00

Yippie Kay Ay!Top Story. KPTV ran a special Meth Watch show from 9:30-10:00 tonight so it's kind of fitting that the "Top Story" tonight is about everyone's favorite debilitating narcotic, methamphetamine. OK, so they had to go with a story about a meth bust that actually happened earlier this week, but hey, artistic license, OK? According to Jamie Wilson, who was On The Scene, it took 5--count '

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1125052129600779562005-08-26T01:38:00.000-07:002005-08-26T03:40:31.260-07:00

Hokey smokes, Bullwinkle!Top Story. Home Invasion Spree. Ah, Ye Olde "Home Invasion" is back. Some guy "invaded" 4 homes in Gladstone while the residents were home. Brave or just really, really high? You make the call. I enjoyed the testimony of 1 of the victims who, as it turns out, lives in the basement of his mother's house and chased off the burglar with a wooden sword. If this guy's walls

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1124958866894394522005-08-24T23:58:00.000-07:002005-08-25T07:36:27.056-07:00

Whee doggies! Now that we've quoted Jeb Clampett, let's dig in...Top Story. "Adrian," a young Albany woman was raped back in July. Her attacker had his way with her for two and a half hours in the Phoenix Inn in Albany. Jamie Wilson was On The Scene of the attack. Obviously, the rapist is being sought by the cops.Josiah Richards is accused of causing the death of Jadyn, the daughter of his

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1124880421212628722005-08-24T02:31:00.000-07:002005-08-25T07:39:08.616-07:00

I'm back. Didja miss me?Top Story. Hmm, I can't remember them ever kicking things off with Meth Watch before. Anyhoo, David Wilson was On The Scene in Salem to tell us about a toddler named Alaya [sp?] who apparently ingested some meth. I don't think that's a flavor in the Gerber line. The little tweaker is now in Salem Hospital. According to neighbors, Alaya's family suddenly disappeared. Yeah,

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1124692263906305492005-08-21T23:26:00.000-07:002005-08-23T07:32:04.356-07:00

I decided at the last minute to take tonight off, as I have some work to catch up on. You know, work, that stuff you do so you can afford $3/gallon gas. I did, however, watch the show and I noticed that there's a new Missing White Woman. This one's a model, so I guess it's time to say Move Over, Natalee and Brooke, there's a new face missing in town!I won't be here Monday, my usual day off,

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1124620733955629272005-08-21T02:07:00.000-07:002005-08-21T03:50:23.836-07:00

So, I guess it's official: Hilary Hutcheson has abandoned the groovy hairdo she had last Saturday night. Tonight's hair was the same old blah deal she had for months. Oh well.Top Story. Violent Home Invasion near Gresham. Perp hits vic on head with axe. 2 men broke in, 1 escaped, 1 got caught. Tanner Dunning is the non-escapee. Vic not injured. David Frietas/Freitas On The Scene. Landlord behind

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1124533468476515612005-08-20T01:50:00.000-07:002005-08-20T03:36:05.603-07:00

Oh man, it was another one of those nights, the kind in which the mayhem, alleged sex abuse and car wrecks come so fast that I can barely scribble down notes in shorthand fast enough to keep up. Therefore, some of the stories listed below may be missing a fact or two...or three. I was complaining about the blistering pace of the KPTV 10 o'clock "news" show to my wife. She promptly suggested that

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1124447289536635932005-08-19T01:54:00.000-07:002005-08-19T03:40:09.196-07:00

Ah, I see that KPTV is back to that old wacky thing they used to do all the time where the "Top Story" is some piece of irrelevance that no one--especially anyone trained in journalism--could possibly think of as a "Top Story."Top Story. There are mice in a Hillsboro movie multiplex! MICE, I tell you. Mi-i-i-i-i-i-ce. A patron of the "Movies on TV" theater (odd name that) claims to have been

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1124361093400559822005-08-18T01:58:00.000-07:002005-08-18T07:29:05.650-07:00

Less blood tonight, but still a lot of mayhem. Oh, right at the top of the 'cast tonight, we got a lovely look at a test pattern for about 20 seconds. If you happened to see it and were wondering what the "4:3" on the sides meant, it's the "aspect ratio" of the TV frame. You probably could care less about this, but high-definition TV has an aspect ratio of 16:9. And now you know.Top Story: Ryan

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1124274416315673612005-08-17T01:46:00.000-07:002005-08-17T03:38:14.896-07:00

It's a given that "If it bleeds, it leads" is the motto around the KPTV "news" compound, but, sheesh, do they have to lay it on quite as thick as they did tonight? They must have had to use a dropcloth over the Tele-Promp-Ter to keep the blood off it.Top Story. Did Sal Hernandez-Jimenez rape and beat a woman in Vancouver? Perhaps. The cops think he did and he's still loose. Kevin Coari, he of

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1124098503746269822005-08-15T00:49:00.000-07:002005-08-25T10:46:46.483-07:00

Hilary, Hilary, Hilary. Your hair was PERFECT Saturday night. Why'd you go mess with it again? You're a 30-ish woman. Are you trying to tell me you don't know a single nice gay hairdresser who can advise you on this stuff? Sheesh.Top Story. "Big Cat Attacks." That means that one cat has attacked, not that several cats have attacked (just wanted to clear that up). A Siberian Lynx jumped a 6

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1124016750773054522005-08-14T02:04:00.000-07:002005-08-14T04:02:52.146-07:00

OK, I promise to be less wordy than I was yesterday. I can see the relief on your face from here.Top Story: 2 armed robbers wearing ski masks "knocked over" the Victory Bingo Hall. The hall is either in Southeast Portland or Gresham; that point was a little unclear in this story. David Frietas/Freitas picked the short straw and had to cover this one. We saw part of a woman who was afraid to have

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1123927372886315392005-08-13T00:58:00.000-07:002005-08-13T03:20:55.926-07:00

Way down below in the discussion of the Final Cut segment, I've got some background information about a story on tonight's show that I think is interesting. Your mileage may vary, of course.Top Story. Oops, no, it's Time For Breaking News (defined by KPTV as anything that happened after about 5:30 PM). Some weasels were looking at a bicycle a little too longingly, causing a bystander to figure

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1123843555632988362005-08-12T01:48:00.000-07:002005-08-12T04:03:07.410-07:00

You people have NO idea how much I sacrifice to keep you informed on the latest excesses of the KPTV 10 o'clock "news" show. There I was, happily eating steak for dinner (London broil). The clock is creeping ever closer to the Magic Hour and I'm not nearly done devouring the better part of a cow. I was ready to take the night off, but my wife insisted that I do my note-taking thing. To shut her

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1123761627353674692005-08-11T03:06:00.000-07:002005-08-11T05:12:05.080-07:00

I forgot to mention this in last night's report because it was during the Sports segment, which I don't usually bother with. Some nitwit jumped from the top deck of Yankee Stadium onto the net behind home plate. Not a great idea as the net is only intended to keep foul balls from hitting someone in the noggin. Anyway, if this had happened back in the Olden Days, I would have been one of the

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1123672064198111542005-08-10T02:12:00.000-07:002005-08-10T04:23:28.993-07:00

Some nights, the KPTV 10 o'clock "news" show looks as if they took a bunch of true-crime stories, threw them in a blender, then put whatever flew out the top of the ol' Waring onto the air. Tonight was one of those nights.Top Story: Vanished! Ah, this story was just tailor-made for Ye Olde Channel 12. A mother and her three kids from Keizer disappeared on Saturday. Deb Gil was On The Scene.

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1123485832265364962005-08-07T23:09:00.000-07:002005-08-10T04:09:17.953-07:00

Man, I never heard of a computer with a built-in seven-second delay before. I type something and it shows up about seven seconds later. If I ever trash a hard drive on my main computer again, you can expect to see me on KPTV as "Man Commits Suicide, Were Computers To Blame?"Top Story: Nathan Howard was arrested in downtown Portland after a shooting. No one was injured but there has been mucho

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1123435860993396842005-08-07T08:48:00.000-07:002005-08-07T10:42:18.083-07:00

What's that smell? Freshly-baked tabloid, that's what.Top Story: I swear, if nature hadn't created pitbulls, KPTV would have had to hire someone to breed them. Some woman in Southeast Portland owned 3 of the little monsters. According to her, 2 of them were tussling over something and the neighbors mistook that for a fight. They called the cops. When the cops arrived, what did they see but the

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1123342778110975272005-08-06T07:51:00.000-07:002005-08-06T09:34:13.336-07:00

Price of new hard drive to replace trashed one: ExpensiveValue of information lost on trashed hard drive: Impossible to calculateHaving to type this on antedeluvian computer: Priceless (and frustrating)Top Story: Well, lookie here. Remember the deadly stabbing from the other night? Keri Tomlinson does. Of course that's part of her job, but anyway, she was at the Hillsboro Cop Shop for this one.

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1123239778739634822005-08-05T02:27:00.000-07:002005-08-05T07:25:28.526-07:00

Oh man, my laptop computer (the one I usually use to type this thing) has crashed on me. I'm attempting to do this on a borrowed computer and it's like something you'd see on The Flintstones with a long-beaked bird chiseling letters into a stone tablet. This won't be easy, but I'm a trouper.Top Story: This was an example of KPTV just totally pulling something out of their collective ass. Masico

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1123152145557805782005-08-04T01:38:00.000-07:002005-08-04T10:07:55.950-07:00

The KPTV 10 o'clock "news" show has a new format: All Brooke, All The Time. In honor of this, I have come up with a slogan for them: "You give us 11 minutes, we'll fill it with Brooke Wilberger." Yes, the first 11 minutes of the show tonight, which normally contains something like 14 or 15 stories, had just one. The missing young, blonde, white woman from a wealthy family was all the top of the

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1123066803575663672005-08-03T02:15:00.000-07:002005-08-03T04:13:39.943-07:00

It's the special Missing Blonde White Woman edition of KPTV Watch!Top Story: Hold your calls, we have a winner! There's finally a suspect in the Brooke Wilberger case. 39 year-old Joel Courtney is currently being held in New Mexico on rape and kidnapping charges. The police will hold a press conference on Wednesday afternoon to announce aggravated murder charges against Courtney. All we really

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1122889984262096272005-08-01T00:24:00.000-07:002005-08-01T03:08:26.843-07:00

Hilary Hutcheson's hair still looks lovely...AND she wasn't pulling it back so tightly tonight, making her eyes not so squinty. Do I even need to bother with this whole "news analysis" thing now? I do? Oh, OK. *sigh*Top Story: A "meth-fueled" fugitive was arrested near Milwaukie. Debra Gil was On The Scene in Oregon City to tell us the sordid story of Frank Benner. Frank went a bit nutso, it

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1122807309465531672005-07-31T01:51:00.000-07:002005-07-31T10:45:50.216-07:00

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has." - Margaret MeadSo, did you see the show Saturday night? Notice anything different about weekend co-anchor Hilary Hutcheson's hairdo? It was sassy and sophisticated with bangs swept to the right. Didn't think I counted as a "small group of thoughtful, committed people,

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1122720504720289382005-07-30T02:16:00.000-07:002005-07-30T03:58:29.506-07:00

I figured out why last night's KPTV 10 o'clock "news" show was such a bloodfest. It was produced by Rob Zombie. Tonight's show was no House of 1000 Corpses, but it had its moments.Top Story: There was a stabbing "near" a MAX station. I put "near" in quotes because, although they hyped this story that way, from what we saw, this unfortunate incident had nothing to do with the MAX system. They

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1122639496754479852005-07-29T03:14:00.000-07:002005-07-29T13:22:39.716-07:00

Hey, for those of you who have defended KPTV's "news" show on the grounds that it's "what the audience wants," you might want to check this out: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3449870/ . It's about that very subject. Finish reading this blog entry, then take a walk over there to read it.OK, let's move on. What's the old saying? "It's funny till someone loses an eye." In that case, Don Denniston

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1122548898397871382005-07-28T02:57:00.000-07:002005-07-28T04:18:22.180-07:00

One of these days, I'm going to simply give in to my almost irresistable urge to do an entire posting in Pig Latin. Today, however, is not that day, my friends.Top Story: 47 year-old Bruce Walrod allegedly was a frequent visitor to a phone chat room (they still have those?) While on a sojourn there, he allegedly promised two girls, 13 and 15, that he would meet them in an Aloha park and give

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1122458791632146002005-07-27T01:37:00.000-07:002005-07-27T03:18:33.813-07:00

Hilary Hutcheson wasn't on tonight's "news" show, nearly causing me to lose the will to live. I'm afraid you'll just have to close your eyes and imagine her peripatetic hair part.Top Story: Sorry for the pause there. I was waiting for the almost inevitable "Breaking News" but it never came. Let's march forward resolutely. The Top Story was entitled "Child Targeted." A young boy was chasing a cat

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1122277906599784272005-07-24T23:24:00.000-07:002005-07-25T01:14:58.610-07:00

The Terror Train stopped off at KPTV and unloaded a fresh pile of fear. Let's take a look at it, shall we?Top Story. No, wait, something happened after 5 PM, qualifying it as "Breaking News." There's been a shooting on Killingsworth in Northeast Portland. Heh heh, he said "Killings." A drive-by shooter blasted two Hispanic men standing on the street. The cops have no license plate nor any

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1122117187170368842005-07-23T03:10:00.000-07:002005-07-24T01:38:23.230-07:00

OK, I'm trashing the usual format for one day. No, it's not because I didn't do my usual note-taking on the show. As I do just about every night, I took notes on every story (excluding the weather and sports). I was completely prepared to make my usual snotty comments on all the crap KPTV shoveled in the guise of "news."So, what happened? Well, after I finished my "prep" as they say in the radio

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1122031986814915182005-07-22T02:43:00.000-07:002005-07-22T04:43:13.533-07:00

To quote Jeb Clampett, "Whee doggies!"Top Story: No, there's Breaking News tonight. You know, since they had Jamie Wilson already On The Scene ready to go and all, one might think that this whole "interrupt the Top Story" thing is really a gimmick, if one had a cynical bent, that is.OK, let's just roll with the "Breaking News" for a moment. Shooting in Estacada. Hours of negotiation between the

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1121946960400722912005-07-21T03:02:00.000-07:002005-07-21T07:32:49.540-07:00

This is interesting. On Wednesday morning I was contacted by an anonymous person who told me about an article in the current Willamette Week. It's titled "First. Live. Loco" and is about KPTV's 10 o'clock "news" show.So, I go and read the piece (http://www.wweek.com/story.php?story=6530 ). At first glance, the article seemed to me to be a kind of condensed version of this blog. OK, it's not as if

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1121856529280448852005-07-20T02:41:00.000-07:002005-07-20T03:57:57.000-07:00

Let's jump right into the deep end of the pool, shall we?Top Story: Hmm, let's see. There's so much going on in the world right now. What could today's Top Story possibly be? Karl Rove's treason? President Bush's Supreme Court nominee? Well, in a more perfect world, yes, one of those would be the "Top Story," but this is KPTV, where actual news gets glossed over in 15 seconds--when it gets

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1121682853661384672005-07-18T02:26:00.000-07:002005-07-18T03:44:31.100-07:00

I'm back in the (metaphorical) saddle again.Top Story: Violence Erupts! A race riot? Did Critical Mass engage in "pedal-by" shootings perhaps? Nah, just two jerkoffs (hey, if Keri Tomlinson can use that term, why can't I?) going at it in a strip club. It's a Southeast Portland joint called Cocktails and Dreams (or "Cocktails and Screams" by the locals because of the frequent outbursts). "Betty,"

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1121513661668389752005-07-16T03:00:00.000-07:002005-07-16T04:45:24.446-07:00

Yay, the new Harry Potter book is finally out! If it wasn't for that and Viagra, I couldn't go on living. I'm kidding, I don't really care about the Harry Potter book. And, uh, I don't really need Viagra. I can quit any time I want to! Why are you looking at me like that?Top Story: Attempted Rapist. Isn't that grammatically incorrect? Don't they mean "Attempted Rape?" Be that as it may, some guy

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1121429942984223642005-07-15T03:46:00.000-07:002005-07-15T05:33:09.710-07:00

After tonight, it seems, we're not going to get anymore I-Team Cyber Scams or whatever the hell they call those things. I guess the youth of Oregon/Washington are just going to have to fend for themselves now. Anyway...Top Story: David Wilson was On The Scene of a burglary in Northeast Portland. Stacy Jenkins is our alleged Criminal Du Jour. Wow, you mean to tell me that, in a metropolitan area

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1121338968013952582005-07-14T02:54:00.000-07:002005-07-14T04:12:44.843-07:00

OK, let's blow through this bad boy quick-like. I've got some Web surfing to do.Top Story. Wait! No, they didn't have a Breaking News thingie tonight. I'm just so used to them whipping out that old chestnut that I jumped the gun there. The Top Story tonight is Jeffrey Williams getting his bad self busted. He's allegedly the guy who's been going around robbing businesses lately, like that 7-11

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1121255124005628532005-07-13T03:35:00.000-07:002005-07-13T04:55:07.113-07:00

Tuesday was my wife's birthday. After she opened the presents and I ate some cake, I settled down to deal with the KPTV 10 o'clock "news" show. As their contribution to my wife's 50th, KPTV fired their general manager. Yes, really.Top Story. Oops, no. There's some "Breaking News" tonight. Boy, that sure seems to happen on a regular basis on KPTV, huh?A cyclist died at P.I.R. after hitting a 12

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1121078960066074972005-07-11T02:16:00.000-07:002005-07-11T04:11:07.250-07:00

The Mrs. and I were at Cape Kiwanda, Pacific City on Sunday, just hanging around. On the way down the road, we saw a Coast Guard chopper heading South. We knew from the scanner that a middle-aged couple had been sighted apparently stranded on some rocks at the Cape. When we got to the parking lot at the beach at Kiwanda, I whipped out the digital camera and got some nice shots of the chopper

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1120978553970409362005-07-09T23:53:00.000-07:002005-07-11T04:06:36.853-07:00

Fear not, my droogs. I have not abandoned you. I was enjoying (and I do mean enjoying) a steak dinner and it went long, so I called the governor and he gave me a one-day reprieve from harassing the KPTV "news" crew. I saw very little of the show but I can reliably report to you that Hilary Hutcheson's part has now moved to the right side of her head. It's a signal to Al Qaeda, I tells ya! I'll

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1120909887457802222005-07-09T03:30:00.000-07:002005-07-09T05:02:15.556-07:00

Stop the presses! I realized tonight that I've been misspelling Hilary Hutcheson's name. I've been so mesmerized by her peripatetic hair part, I guess, that I haven't been paying enough attention to the Chyron on the bottom of the screen. Oh, by the way, the part is back in the center of H.H. (as I like to call her)'s head. Wait! I just thought of this: maybe the location of her part on a given

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1120824256558793072005-07-08T03:18:00.000-07:002005-07-08T05:22:20.043-07:00

Before 10 PM last night, my wife, her sister and I were debating whether KPTV would have the audacity to NOT lead their "news" show with the London bombings. They wouldn't dare start off with a kitten up a tree in Hillsboro or something, would they? Well, it may have been a temptation but, thankfully, someone acted like a grownup and went with the REAL news of the day.Top Story: Terror Overseas.

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1120738230517224162005-07-07T03:17:00.000-07:002005-07-07T05:21:51.226-07:00

Hold onto something solid. In the course of tonight's critique, I'm actually going to say something complimentary about tonight's KPTV 10 o'clock news show. Look, I didn't even put "news" in quotes.Top Story: Missing Mother. Carlea Cooper, a young black woman, is missing in Vancouver, Washington. The cops report a body was found in a car in a nearby garage. They wouldn't say if it was her or not.

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1120640114378187662005-07-06T00:42:00.000-07:002005-07-06T02:10:08.670-07:00

As usual, I took Monday night off so I could watch something more reality-oriented than KPTV's 10 o'clock "news" show: wrestling. I'm back. Did you miss me?Top Story: Meth Watch. Oops, wait, here's that stupid fake "Breaking News" gimmick again. The Southeast Portland home of a 77 year-old man was the scene of a "home invasion" (a vastly more frightening term than the old "burglary"). A reporter

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1120481179208355802005-07-04T04:28:00.000-07:002005-07-04T05:56:21.863-07:00

OK, let's get this jumbo jet off the ground, shall we?Top StoryUnfortunately, the story of Matal, the murdered 4 year-old, is going to dominate the local news for the foreseeable future. Tonight, Jamie Wilson, on the "scene" in Milwaukie, told us that the autopsy determined that the cause of death was a blow to the head. We don't yet know what the weapon was, however. The case is being

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1120390364286449142005-07-03T03:35:00.000-07:002005-07-03T04:49:59.250-07:00

There's a sad ending tonight to a story unfortunately tailor-made for tabloid "journalism."Top StoryDavid Freitas was in Oregon City to tell us that the police are charging Christine Coffman, the step-grandmother of missing 4 year-old Matal with murder. She lead the cops to the site where the boy was buried. Hilary Huchison (whose hair was parted on the right side tonight) gave us some of the

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1120303605205703622005-07-02T03:24:00.000-07:002005-07-03T03:35:41.566-07:00

Good thing there's nothing important going on in the world right now. That way KPTV can pretend that the crap it puts on the air is "news." Let's push on...Top Story. Take three guesses and know that any of them that don't involve a missing child don't count. Yes, Matal is still missing. Hey, wait! Weren't they spelling his name "Matel" for the past two days. Sure were. I don't know if all the

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1120214789614068982005-07-01T02:37:00.000-07:002005-07-01T03:58:23.693-07:00

If you have a spare moment, take a look at the comments this site has been getting lately. It seems this little blog has gotten WAY under the skin of someone at Kitten Up A Tree Central, AKA KPTV "news." You'll laugh 'til you cry; you'll cry 'til you bleed internally as you read the nonsense dished up by this person, who HAS to be an intern. Even as a critic of KPTV's 10 o'clock "news" show, I

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1120133373927152352005-06-30T03:54:00.000-07:002005-06-30T10:34:08.073-07:00

The KPTV tiny clown car pulled up and out jumped some "reporters." We blog, you decide.Top Story: Wait, it's time for the never-gets-old "Breaking News" gag. A 4 year-old boy went missing at about 3 PM today which on KPTV qualifies the story as "Breaking News." The cops were on the scene, as you would expect, looking for little Matel Sanchez. This story gave us tonight's first "You don't expect

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1120047126438395012005-06-29T04:03:00.000-07:002005-06-29T05:26:28.690-07:00

What's that smell? Did the cat forget to ask to go out? Nope, it's just the KPTV 10 o'clock "news" show.Top Story: Surprise Attack. 2 men beat up a 16 year-old in Milwaukie. As part of the attack, they shaved some of his hair off, so "reporter" David Frietas had, naturally, a razor as his prop for this story. You can't do news without props, right? Anyway, the boy's family is moving out of

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1119867995895159262005-06-27T02:23:00.000-07:002005-06-27T03:45:58.840-07:00

Yadda yadda yadda.Top Story: A middle school in Portland was vandalized. a 31-year-old guy was caught in the process. He's from out of the area. Millions of people in the Portland area, the largest metro area in the entire state of Oregon and this is the top story? If any of these people put "journalist" on their tax form in the "occupation" space, they should be arrested for lying on a federal

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1119782792850759882005-06-26T02:45:00.000-07:002005-06-27T03:37:30.130-07:00

I remembered something Saturday. A while back, KPTV used to have a guy (whose name slips my mind at the moment) who they called their "Washington bureau." He did stories about the federal government, usually while standing on the National Mall in D.C. with the Capitol Building behind him.Yeah, although they pulled their usual "KPTV's So and So" crap when he was really a guy who made a living by

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1119697283966252292005-06-25T03:08:00.000-07:002005-06-25T09:36:33.086-07:00

The Wheel O' Mayhem called the KPTV 10 o'clock "news" just keeps a spinnin'.Top Story: A woman named Jennifer (we saw only her shadow in this story) caught a Peeping Tom masturbating underneath her window in Southeast Portland. She chased him and he got away. Ok, honestly, this is the "top" (as in "most important") story of the day in Portland, a metropolitan area of millions of people? Really?

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1119609303429919202005-06-24T02:31:00.000-07:002005-06-24T03:49:28.883-07:00

Jesus, don't the KPTV "news" team people EVER get tired of the "interrupt the Top Story with 'Breaking News'" gag? Well, apparently not, because they broke it out yet again tonight.Breaking News: A plane crashed at Yamhill; at least 3 people were injured. A reporter is "on the way."Back to our Top Story: a 16 year-old student was stabbed near Ft. Vancouver High School in Vancouver, Washington.

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1119523969773702262005-06-23T02:51:00.000-07:002005-06-23T09:22:28.163-07:00

Crap Ho! [imagine a pirate peering through a telescope, shouting that at the top of his lungs for the proper effect]Top Story...oh wait! It's that stupid fake "Breaking News" trick yet again! What is it this time?Scott Spansel, the missing 15 year-old boy, has been found dead in a park in Salem. Yes, that's an important story. In fact, it's so important that it shouldn't be subjected to KPTV's

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1119437074476616972005-06-22T02:55:00.000-07:002005-06-22T04:01:58.576-07:00

CrapFest 2005 continues nightly on KPTV. Let's take a look at tonight's episode, shall we?Top Story: Wait! There's that Breaking News thing again. Oh, what is it this time, Mr. Breaking News? There was a car accident on Route 26. Oh, I thought maybe the war was over or something. Nope, just a dopey car accident.Back to the Top Story. Beating On The Max. Yup, a guy got beat up on the light

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1119260472366745822005-06-20T01:56:00.000-07:002005-06-20T02:53:55.270-07:00

Yeah, I took yesterday off. Dinner got a late start and it ain't easy taking notes on KPTV's 10 o'clock "news" show when you have both hands, let alone doing it with one hand while you try to eat with the other. Hey, I give, I give and I give to you people. Don't I deserve the occasional night off? Anyhoo, here's the skinny on tonight's debacle:Top Story: A guy is dead after trying to help four

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1119093624673070922005-06-18T03:37:00.000-07:002005-06-18T04:32:50.386-07:00

TGIF! It's the weekend, beyotches! In celebration, KPTV "anchor/reporter" Hillary Hutchison moved her part to the right side of her head.Top Story: New High. Some Washington County kids wanted to celebrate graduating from high school. And what better way than to get high with beer and--Jesus H. Christ!--methadone. What is wrong with kids today? Why can't they get high the old-fashioned way, by

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1119005953993761502005-06-17T03:13:00.000-07:002005-06-17T04:12:05.916-07:00

Hold your nose. We're diving into the deep end of tabloid "journalism."Top Story. Hey, wait, we're being interrupted by Breaking News (or what passes for it on KPTV, anyway). There's a fire at a church in Canby. The Canby Alliance Church to be specific. We don't know anything about any casualities or injuries at this time, though. Now back to the Top Story (which, with that interruption, doesn't

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1118917362722576262005-06-16T02:20:00.000-07:002005-06-16T03:37:59.946-07:00

Well, the big Tsunami Scare of 2005 is over and we've returned back to our home here on the tree-infested Oregon coast. As I am still high and dry, it's time once again for KPTV Watch.Top story tonight: Uncovering Meth. This was the meth bust du jour. 2 guys got busted and 4 kids are now in custody. The cops found what was referred to as a "mobile meth lab." It looked like a Rubbermaid storage

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1118818103808701622005-06-14T23:38:00.000-07:002005-06-15T00:31:32.536-07:00

OK, Where Am I? No, I haven't abandoned my anointed task of giving shit to the KPTV "news" team. Monday night is my designated night for watching reality-based programming (wrestling), as opposed to KPTV's 10 o'clock "news" show.That explains Monday night; what about tonight? Well, a little after 8 PM, just after I woke up from my nap (hey, news criticism is hard work), the police scanner started

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1118660810864066352005-06-13T03:23:00.000-07:002005-06-13T04:18:58.676-07:00

KPTV is running a promo that says that some "professional journalists'" organization has given them an award for, if I remember correctly, "Best Newscast in Portland." Oh really? It must be that "Wolf Blitzer" guy they've apparently hired to work for them that's helped them climb to the peak of journalism's Valhalla. Anyway...Top Story: The suspect in the rape/attempted rape (I'm still not sure

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1118573326530611532005-06-12T02:59:00.000-07:002005-06-12T04:06:56.046-07:00

Tonight's KPTV 10 o'clock "news" show was a veritable clam plate full of reporters alleged to be KPTV's very own. None of them were as laugh-out-loud absurd as "KPTV's Wolf Blitzer" from the other night, but I can't recall ever seeing a show which had more KPTV non-employees on it. Anyway, let's do this thing...Top Story: David Freitas gave us this story about a "pot grow bust" in Cornelius. We

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13027579.post-1118486219167302982005-06-11T02:46:00.000-07:002005-06-11T03:50:36.533-07:00

I'm still wondering just how much KPTV had to pay "their" reporter Wolf Blitzer to make the jump from CNN (see yesterday's report). Anyway, let's do this.Top Story: A robbery in Beaverton was apparently committed while the residents were pushing their noisy lawn mower around. That's why they didn't hear Mr. Burglar walk in their front door. Of course, leaving the door unlocked didn't exactly hurt

KPTV-Watchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09600117755933958276noreply@blogger.com0